Official: Workers need training to spot deception

Finally, a news article that provides statements from officials that bucks the current trend of “non-investigation”.  If we are going to have an investigation then have a real one and get these families the help they need.  JDP

Official: Workers need training to spot deception

Updated 10:49 am, Sunday, December 15, 2013

DALLAS (AP) — The head of the agency charged with protecting Texas children says better worker training is needed to ferret out deception from caregivers.  In at least four recent deaths of young children, Child Protective Services caseworkers didn’t push hard enough to find out the truth about the kids’ circumstances.

Department of Family and Protective Services chief John Specia told the Dallas Morning News that workers need to be trained to be able to see through lies about relationships inside foster homes, the home’s actual occupants and whether there is ongoing abuse.  “We’ve got to be able to connect dots,” said Specia, a veteran San Antonio family court judge. “It’s really a matter of being able to have that little red light go off that somebody isn’t telling you the whole story.”

Specia, who Gov. Rick Perry selected last year to run CPS’ parent agency, said women who are abused are sometimes “really good liars.”  CPS workers need more training on domestic-violence victims’ tendency to protect abusers, he said.  Experts told the paper that caseworkers trying to get to the truth are hampered by a heavy workload and the young age of most CPS workers.  Expecting young workers to suspect deceptions as well as someone around 40 could be foolish, said former McKinney police Sgt. Ida Wei Cover. She spent seven years as a CPS worker and then switched to law enforcement.  “They just don’t have the life experiences,” she said. 

Mike Foster of Austin, who has decades of experience running a residential treatment center and a family services agency for abused children, said that if adults are uncooperative in child safety investigations, CPS or private companies should escalate their aggressiveness.  They should randomly interview neighbors and demand to look into closets to check whether a man’s clothes are present, which could indicate he lives in the home.  “You should always take it to the next step,” Foster said. “You almost always regret not trusting your intuition. If you feel like something’s up, you better chase that down.”

Information from: The Dallas Morning News, http://www.dallasnews.com

http://www.sfgate.com/news/texas/article/Official-Workers-need-training-to-spot-deception-5066669.php

Cotton Candy Pedophiles

     

There is nothing cotton candy sweet about a pedophile or the damage he does.  The effects of abuse can have damaging consequences if once the child reaches adulthood they build a relationship with the abuser/predator.  In order to prevent this it is important for you, and for your child, to build solid healthy relationships with others as a support system.  It is just as important to sever relationships with those, including family, who do not support you and your children. Those people do not live your pain or your truth.  Too often, it is an inconvenient truth for them.

You must stand strong.  These abusers, especially the sexual abusers, are quite clever and have a network that is strong enough to destroy the toughest family.  Which is why I say, build a network of people who will not expect you to be “nice” for their convenience.  Furthermore, do not think you are helping your child by not speaking the truth to them about their pedophile “Dad”, “Uncle”, “Cousin”.  Discuss the real issues openly.  Listen to what your children are not saying.

If not, your family will be built upon a foundation as flimsy as pink cotton candy.  The parent raising the child(ren) has to armor them with the tools necessary to keep their minds, and hearts safe.  Without a proper foundation, the abuser/predator that is a family member can come back into their life when they are a teenager or adult.  With their expertise, they can twist reality into a tangled spider’s web of deceit.  The former victims can be deluded into feeling sorry for the abuser/predator, doubt their own truth, and slowly buy into the predator’s lies as they suppress their memories of abuse.  These abusers/predators are good at what they do.  They must be in order to gain trust and access to the same or new victims, and to escape prosecution. 

Have the tough talks, be open, be honest, and tell them to keep no secrets.

Failing to do so means, you risk finding yourself on the outside while the abuser/predator gains a dominating, unhealthy control over your adult children.  He must excise you and everyone else in their life that is healthy.  This leaves your adult child(ren) ripe for further emotional and mental manipulation.  If they have children, the predator has the opportunity to groom those babies from an early age as a feast for himself.  As their parents, sometimes unwittingly, offer up their children; proof to everyone around that their daddy, uncle, cousin is innocent.    

It can reach a point where your adult child(ren) begin to see you as the outsider, and any act of love by you to communicate can be viewed as “stalking” or “interfering. ”  In their fear they will lose his approval, the abuser/predator can become a sort of demi-god.  One who is willing to do anything to keep his secret safe.  Often, the now damaged adults that were your child(ren) will protect him too.  This means surrounding themselves with unhealthy people, or those who have bought into the lies.  One reason your adult children do this is subconsciously they take ownership of the guilt, and the responsibility of the abuser/predator.  A guilt and responsibility the abuser/predator is incapable of feeling himself. 

Unfortunately, those that are healthy tend to put distance between themselves and their family, and the predator and your adult children.  They too often keep quiet instead of making their suspicions known.  An example is babysitters that quits showing up, and friends that find reasons for not getting together.  Real friends try to have those conversations letting your adult child know how they feel about what is going on.  Since people tend to keep quiet the adult child(ren) think the secret is safe.  Some actually think they would rather die than allow others to find out.  So, so continue the lie.  Do not let this become their shame; it is the predators, not theirs.  Get the secrets out in the open so change and healing can begin.

Remember, this hypothetical scenario can be prevented.  If your child(ren) has been abused have those open talks, build a support system, and if you suspect abuse or have information then do not just fade away report your suspicions.  In Texas and in many states, If you are a teacher or work in a medical office you are a mandatory reporter and can be prosecuted as a felony for not reporting.  

In Texas call:   1-800-252-5400   

Online reporting:        https://www.txabusehotline.org/Login/Default.aspx

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